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It’s generally well known that new parents don’t get much sleep. In fact, new research found it takes 6 years for a new parent's sleep to restore to pre-pregnancy levels. Babies wake up for feeds, toddlers get out of beds, preschoolers have toilet training mishaps… there’s a lot that can happen at 2am. But knowing “bad” is normal begs the question of “how bad?”. Here, sleep consultant Kristy Griffiths aka The Sleep Teacher answers all our questions of how to know whether your baby’s sleeping habits are “normal” or not, and she swears, every single day she gets emails from parents who say: “I’m not sure if my situation is bad enough to seek help but…”. So you’re not alone.
What qualifies as a "bad" sleeper?
Our motto at The Sleep Teacher is, ‘nothing's a problem until it becomes a problem for you’, so if you feel your current situation is working for you and your family, stick with it! Just like there are no “bad” habits when it comes to sleep, there is no such thing as “bad” sleepers. Frequent waking for babies every 1-2 hours overnight is normalised, but it doesn’t need to be the case. Especially as it’s often not sustainable for families in the long term. Generally speaking, most babies should have around 3 - 4 hourly stretches in their first few months. If your baby is waking more frequently than this, a simple tweak of reassessing awake windows or making a slight routine change could help push out those 1-2 hourly wakes, and a sleep consultant can help with that.
What does a sleep consultant actually do? Do they watch your baby sleep?
“Yes and no! A sleep consultant will work closely with you and your family to help achieve your sleep goals or identify where there may be some tweaks needed in order to improve sleep. Some clients prefer an in-home consult, which can involve a consultant watching your baby settling and potentially resettling. However, for the majority of families, a home consult is not essential. Instead, we’ll work closely with families over a 2-week period, working together to review their sleep logs that they gather each day. So whilst we aren’t physically watching their baby sleep, we are watching how their sleep is tracking and making suggestions as each day goes on to help them reach their sleep goals.”
What's the best way to find and contact a sleep consultant?
Like most businesses and services these days, you can find sleep consultants through a simple Google search. Sleep consultants can be flexible, offering services virtually and in person so you can also find options via social media. Finding someone that you resonate with and feel comfortable with is also something to consider. The best way to do this is to take a look through their website, service offerings and social media pages so you can understand their beliefs and methods. It’s important to find someone you align with. For example, if you’re hoping to get some guidance on fostering a routine with flexibility, it’s important to make sure the sleep consultant you contact offers that service. Sleep consultants offer different methods and services - in this case, a consultant who favours a rigid routine may not align with your goals.
What are the qualifications for a sleep consultant? Anything you should look for?
All sleep consultants should have a certification in Child and Infant Sleep and you should be able to view their certifier/training company on their website. It's a good idea to always take a look at their reviews section too.
What should you expect in your first session with a sleep consultant?
Most sleep consultants will have you complete an intake form prior to your first pre-booked consult. This will give them an understanding of your current situation beforehand. Once on the consult you will go through the basics: sleep environment, routine, feeding, your parenting style, how you currently settle your bub to sleep and what you would like to achieve from the consult. Consults typically last one hour. The sleep consultant should also offer you a few different settling approaches, if applicable to your situation, and you should leave the consult with a clear plan. If you don’t feel confident and comfortable to implement the plan, make sure to flag this with your consultant to give more clarity or answer any questions to better support you!
What if the sleep consultant's advice or plan doesn't work?
In my experience as a sleep consultant for the past 8 years, there are 3 reasons your plan may not progress in the direction you would like it to:
1) You might be struggling with consistency.
Making adjustments to your baby's sleep can take a lot of patience and consistency. Babies thrive off routine - they learn best through repetition. Ensuring you are consistent will help them pick up on the new changes to their routine. Always be mindful that it's taken them a little while to learn what they know, so it will take them a short period to learn a new behavioural pattern. We typically recommend 2 weeks of consistency.
2) Your consultant's plan may not have been 100% right for your baby.
Unfortunately it can be the case that your consultant may not have had a lot of experience with clients, they may just be starting out or haven’t worked with a baby with the same sleep issues as yours and maybe the advice is resulting in things feeling like they aren’t progressing. I like to think that this is a fairly small number, but it is possible. Always look for reviews on the sleep consultant you are looking at working with or go with one you have been personally recommended by a close friend.
3) There could be a medical disorder disrupting your baby's sleep
This could be tonsils/adenoids for example and should be picked up prior or during the consultation when discussing your baby's mouth breathing etc. If this is discussed, you should be asked to see your GP for an ENT referral prior to working on your baby's sleep.
