Big Baby Savings
Jasmin Kostov is founder of Lets Sleep, and Co Founder of Beyond Sleep School.
If you’ve ever said "I know it’s a bad habit but…I feed my baby to sleep" or have heard a friend or family member say this, I'm so glad you’ve found this article (and please, forward it on to them!). As someone who has supported families for the past 12 years as a Registered Midwife, Nurse, Maternal and Child Health Nurse, Baby and Toddler Sleep Consultant and is a mum to one (soon two), need to say loudly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeding your baby to sleep in the day or night.
When it comes to baby sleep, my mantra is that there are no bad habits, just habits that either are or aren’t sustainable for your family. Instead of worrying about whether your settling approach is ‘bad’ or what other people might think, I encourage you to block out the noise and think about whether or not the way to settle your baby is working for you. Here's what you need to know to make those decisions.
Why do babies fall asleep so easily whilst feeding?
When a baby breastfeeds, the hormone cholecystokinin (CCK) is released by both the baby and the mother. CCK has a stimulating effect on digestion and metabolism and it is also sleep inducing, which is why both you and baby can feel relaxed and sleepy after a breastfeed. At night, breastmilk has been shown to contain higher levels of melatonin (sleepy hormone) which is why your baby may be extra sleepy after a breastfeed overnight. During the newborn period, babies feed frequently and it’s quite common for them to fall asleep at the breast or bottle. My advice would be to take the path of least resistance in the newborn days and if your baby naturally falls asleep quite easily whilst feeding, then roll with it. You could settle your baby in a variety of ways including feeding to sleep, assisted naps (pram, carrier), contact naps or try some settling in their bassinet once a day if you want to.
You may have heard the newborn period referred to as the ‘fourth trimester’ and that is exactly what it is! Both you and your baby are adjusting to each other and your baby is adjusting to not feeling your movements and warmth 24/7 as they did inside the womb. Be kind to yourself in those early months, enjoy the cuddles and feeding to sleep as much as you can and know that it’s always something you can change later if and when you feel ready to do so.
What if I'm not enjoying feeding to sleep anymore?
Whilst breastfeeding can be an effective way to settle your newborn baby for sleep, you may prefer your baby to fall asleep in their own cot or via another settling approach once they’re closer to 4 months of age - and that is okay too. Prioritising your own needs as well as your baby’s needs is essential for your mental health.
Challenges You May Find with Feeding to Sleep
-
Your baby has had a feed, fallen asleep on the breast and the second you unlatch them and go to put them down in their cot - they are wide awake and crying. This can be incredibly frustrating and you may not be able to or want to sit in the rocking chair with your baby for the whole nap duration or night sleep.
-
Many Mums I support struggle being the only one who can settle their baby to sleep and would love for their partner or support person to be able to settle baby to sleep. If this is you - you’re not alone and it’s 100% okay to want to change the feed to sleep association if it isn’t working for you anymore.
-
Your baby has fed to sleep, you’ve successfully transferred them to their cot but they’ve woken after 20-30 minutes (and were due for a longer sleep). If your baby has an association with feeding to sleep, they may be likely to need to feed again to get back to sleep. This can leave little time for parents to catch some down time or get tasks done around the house.
Feeding to sleep isn’t ‘bad’. It is a wonderful tool to settle and soothe a baby, however know that it is okay if feeding to sleep isn’t working well for your family anymore beyond the newborn period.
There are lots of ways you can support your baby to sleep without feeding to sleep if that’s a goal you have. If you're looking for further support, access the Let's Sleep resources.
Jazz Kostov is the founder of Let’s Sleep and Co Founder of Beyond Sleep School. She is a Mum to one (soon to be two girls), Registered Midwife and Nurse, Baby and Toddler Sleep Consultant and was previously a MCHN. Jazz educates and supports families with little ones from birth to five years via The Let’s Sleep Podcast, instagram page, sleep guidesand both online and in-home sleep packages.
