How to help your baby get their snooze on.
Getting your baby to sleep can feel overwhelming, especially in those first few months. You are just getting to know your baby, how to read their cues and when to offer them sleep.
It’s actually so common for parents to wonder why their baby just isn’t sleeping or to realise they’ve literally been awake for hours!
There are a few simple, practical things you can do to help your baby settle to sleep (so you can catch a much needed break and zzz’s yourself!). Here's everything you need to know about how to put your baby to sleep.
The One Thing I Wish Every Parent Knew
If there's one piece of information I could give every parent before their baby arrives, it would be to have an understanding of their awake windows. This single tip alone can transform your understanding of when to actually offer your baby a sleep and can save you countless hours of frustration.
An awake window is simply the amount of time your baby can comfortably stay awake between sleep periods. When babies exceed their awake window, they can become overtired, which makes it much harder for them to fall asleep and stay asleep. Overtired babies often fight sleep, seem ‘wakeful and alert’, cry more, and wake up more frequently.
Think of it this way: adults get a "second wind" when they stay up too late watching another episode of their favourite show and suddenly feel alert again. Babies experience something similar, but instead of feeling alert, they can become fussy and find it harder to settle.
Awake Windows Guide for the First 6 Months
It’s important to note that this is a guide. Every baby is different. Every day is different. Some days your baby will have more sleep than others. 0-6 weeks:
- Awake window: 45-60 minutes
- Total sleep: 16-19 hours per 24 hours 6-12 weeks:
- Awake window: 60-90 minutes
- Total sleep: 15-17 hours per 24 hours 3-4 months:
- Awake window: 1.5-2 hours
- Total sleep: 14-17 hours per 24 hours 4-5 months:
- Awake window: 1.5-2 hours
- Total sleep: 14-16 hours per 24 hours 5-6 months:
- Awake window: 2-2.5 hours
- Total sleep: 14-16 hours per 24 hours
Safe Sleep Environment
Before focusing on techniques, establishing a safe sleep environment is crucial:
The Sleep Space
- Use a firm sleep surface with a tight-fitting fitted sheet
- Keep the cot or bassinet bare - no loose blankets, pillows, or toys
- Ensure your baby is dressed appropriate for the temperature of the room (use the TOG system to guide you)
- Make the room dark for sleep day and night
- Consider white noise/rain sounds to block household sounds
Safe Sleep Position
- Always place babies on their back to sleep, for every sleep
- Refer to the Red Nose Safe Sleeping Guidelines for more safe sleeping info
- Newborns typically benefit from being swaddled in a swaddle or arms in sleeping bag
- Once your baby shows signs of rolling or has rolled - move them to an arms out sleeping bag so they can move freely in their cot.
Step by Step Sleep Routine
1. Watch for Sleep Cues
Take note of your baby’s awake window for age and also learn to recognise when your baby is getting tired:
- Yawning
- Rubbing eyes or ears
- Fussiness or crying
- Staring off into space
- Red eyebrows or around the eyes
- There are LOTS of cues - start to watch your baby and see what cues you see!
2. Create a Calming Wind Down Routine
Help your baby’s body understand that sleep is coming. You can use a wind down routine to do this. Start this routine 5 minutes before day sleep and 10-15 minutes before night sleep:
- Dim the lights
- Speak in soft, quiet tones
- Try a warm bath (before night sleep typically)
- Change into fresh nappy
- Feed if baby is due a feed
- Read a short book, sing a lullaby or have a cuddle swaying with baby in your arms
3. Swaddling (for babies under 4 months that aren’t rolling/showing signs of rolling yet)
Swaddling can help newborns feel secure and sleep better. It also helps prevent their moro or ‘startle’ reflex which can jolt them awake:
- Use a lightweight muslin wrap or arms in sleeping bag like Ergopouch or Love to Dream
- Wrap snugly around arms and torso, but always loose around the hips and legs
- Stop swaddling once baby shows signs of rolling over
4. How to settle your baby to sleep Try these methods to help your baby settle to sleep:
- Watch and wait (pop your baby down and see what happens! They may just surprise you and go to sleep without any assistance)
- Containment touch (if you’ve tried to watch and wait and they’re grizzling - pop a hand on their chest and shush rhythmically. Keep calm and consistent for 5-10 minutes and see if you baby starts to calm)
- Settle in arms and transfer (if the first two options haven’t led to your baby sleeping - you could rock your baby rhythmically and gently in arms and shush until asleep. Then either have a contact nap or transfer to the bassinet/cot)
- Assisted nap (one of my favs! Pop your baby in the pram or carrier and head out for some fresh air and a coffee. Pro tip: take portable white noise with you)
When you are trying a technique to help your baby settle - allow 5-10 minutes before you change to something else. It takes time for your baby to recognise the technique and feel comforted by it. Changing your technique every few minutes will likely wake them up more.
Age Specific Tips
Newborns & younger babies (0-4 months)
- Take the pressure off yourself to be in any kind of predictable routine
- Don't worry about creating bad habits - you are just getting to know your baby
- Sleep is often unpredictable in the first few months
- Every day will be different
- Plenty of daylight exposure in your baby’s awake time in the day to help their body clock adjust
- I know its tough but try not to compare your baby to your friends baby - they are all SO different
Babies (4-6 months)
- Can begin to establish more consistent routines
- Can start putting baby down awake more frequently and support independent settling
- Realistic to work toward longer stretches of sleep overnight
- Continue offering 1-2 naps a day in the pram or carrier to promote flexibility
Important Reminders
- Every baby is different - what works for one may not work for another
- It's normal for sleep patterns to change during growth spurts, illness, or developmental leaps
- Consistency is key, but be flexible when needed
- Take care of yourself too - even 5 minutes of intentional time for you eg stretching, yoga or a coffee make all the difference
- Trust your instincts - you know your baby best
Remember, learning to sleep is a skill that takes time for babies to develop. Be patient with both your baby and yourself as you navigate this journey together. Most babies develop more predictable sleep patterns by 6 months, and it does get easier with time. If you need further support with sleep - seek help, there are so many incredible options available to support you and your family.
For more comprehensive guidance on baby sleep, check out my new book Let’s Sleep The First Year. This is your complete guide to your baby’s sleep from birth to their first birthday. From daily feed and sleep routines, to settling methods, common sleep challenges and starting solids - you’ll have everything on hand so that you avoid the 3am panic google when baby won’t sleep!
