Everything to Know About Throwing a Nesting Party

Babyshowers should be a fun celebration of love and support for the expecting parents and their pending baby, but If it’s feeling more like another thing on your to-do list and classify it as a ‘nice to have’ but not essential part that you simply can’t prioritise when there’s a cot to build, fridge to fill and birthing class to attend. If it’s an expense of time, money or energy (or all three) that you don’t have, then you may, as many in your position do, decide to cut it away. In the current climate, there feels a need for another option, and, ofcourse, in recent years, a new social trend has emerged with the answer: the nesting party.

A nesting party is an event designed around helping expectant parents prepare their home for their new baby. Rather than the traditional baby shower filled with games, gift-opening ceremonies, and the inevitable pressure to entertain, a nesting party is a low-key, often cosy gathering centered around practical assistance and bonding. It’s an opportunity for close friends and family to come together and offer help, advice, and support in a more laid-back, hands-on way, preparing your home for what’s to come, which is the literal definition of “nesting”.

“Instead of baby-themed games or presents, a nesting party is way more focused on preparing a mother and their partner, their home, their mind and their body for when that baby arrives,” explains Avalon Nethery, doula and founder of Borne, a postpartum hotel in Sydney’s Double Bay. “More mums are understanding the importance of postpartum support over unsolicited gifts and this is a way to celebrate but also practically prepare for a new chapter of life.”

Unlike baby showers, which can feel like a performance of sorts—with guests waiting eagerly for the opening of presents, the mum (and her bump) being the focus of conversation (which can feel like scrutiny)—nesting parties focus on the preparation of the home and the emotional well-being of the parents. In practice, it’s like a working bee. Friends and family arrive and get to work: they might help build the cot or feeding chair, set up the nursery, wash and organise baby clothes, or get cooking and stock your fridge with nutritious postpartum meals. There’s no pressure on the parents to have everything done, clean or tidy, because that is what the day is for. It does take some organisation though, usually by someone close to the new parents who can fully understand what they want, and delegate to get it done. Here’s how to do it:

1. Create a List of Tasks

The first step in organising a successful nesting party is to determine what tasks will be most helpful to the expecting parent. These tasks could include things for the baby: washing clothes and linen, sorting through hand-me-downs, setting up the drawers, nappy caddy, assembling baby furniture or the pram or connecting monitors or white noise machines. It could also involve making a list of household chores that the parents may not have time to do, like deep cleaning areas of the house, cleaning the car and fitting the car seat, getting the garden sorted (no one wants to be on mat leave looking a dead grass), painting a room, emptying the garage, changing the light globes to a less offensive wattage… If you are pregnant, you will totally understand why these things can feel essential. Then there is the food. Stocking the freezer and pantry with easy dishes is the best gift of all. If you are planning this for a friend, make sure you get any specific concerns they have or aspects of the baby’s arrival they are anxious about. This way, the event will be exactly what they need.

2. Invite the Right People

Nesting parties thrive on the support of people who are practical and willing to roll up their sleeves and help. Ideally, the guest list should include close friends, family members, and any people who are familiar with the tasks at hand. Consider inviting people who can contribute specific skills or talents—such as those who are handy with assembling furniture or who are particularly organised and can help with sorting and organising. Don’t invite anyone the couple might not feel comfortable to find cleaning their bathroom or going through their dirty laundry, literally i.e. maybe not one to invite their boss to, you know? When extending invitations, let your guests know that this is a hands-on, task-oriented gathering rather than a traditional baby shower. Provide a clear idea of the activities, timeline and what’s expected of them, and assign roles. Also, while many hands make light work, consider the space you’re working in—don’t overwhelm the new parents by having too many people in their apartment that it becomes stressful or difficult to actually get things done.

3. Set Up Work Stations

To keep the party organised and ensure the tasks are completed efficiently, set up different “work stations” around the home. These could include areas for folding clothes, putting together baby gear, and organising the nursery. Have a variety of supplies and materials on hand, such as baby clothes, labels, tools for assembling furniture, storage bins, and cleaning supplies.

4. Make it Fun, Social and Add Something For Mum

Although the focus of a nesting party is on productivity and preparation, it’s also important to incorporate elements that make the event enjoyable for everyone. Provide snacks, drinks, and music to keep the atmosphere light. A little tea break space for the mum-to-be to hang out in (getting a massage, mani or pedi preferably) and chat with friends is ideal.

5. If Appropriate, Have Something a Little Ceremonial

“A ceremonial part of the nesting party talks to the emotional or mental preparation for a baby,” says Nethery. “This can look like, sitting in a circle and the mothers there sharing their experience or writing affirmations for labor. There are more spiritual versions with mother blessings or flower ceremonies, but it really depends on the birthing person and if this is something that would appeal to them. You could add a group meditation or breathwork… anything that brings the people who love you together to focus on the baby and mother can be really powerful.” Nethery adds that there are ways to keep the baby and mother in the groups mind beyond the nesting party and continue the positive energy. “I have done one where we were giving a string to tie around our wrist, and when the string broke in the following days, we were to send an intention and a wish to that mother and baby.”

6. Plan Support For Beyond the Event

A nesting party is also a great place to plan support for after the baby arrives. Set up the meal train while everyone is there. Create a cleaning roster for the first few weeks after the baby arrives, or make calendar dates of who can take the family's older children for a play date each weekend. However the couple could use support, try and organise it while everyone is together and focused.