How to Be Intimate, Without Having Sex

Rachel Baker is the founder of LBDO

When we think of intimacy, it’s easy to default to sex. But intimacy isn’t limited to what happens between the sheets - and some of the most powerful ways to connect happen quietly, outside of sexual touch.

In long-term relationships, new ones, or seasons where desire shifts (because of stress, pregnancy, postpartum or just life), finding other ways to connect can be grounding. It’s about slowing down, paying attention and staying emotionally close.

Here are a few forms of non-sexual intimacy that invite closeness, deepen connection, and create space for affection, vulnerability and love.

Skin-to-skin contact

This is intimacy in its simplest form: touch without expectation. It could look like lying together with bare skin touching, holding hands, resting your head on their chest, or sharing a warm embrace.

Skin-to-skin contact helps regulate the nervous system and releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), which helps create a sense of emotional safety and calm. It’s not just about being physically close - it’s about being emotionally available, without distraction.

Try setting aside a few minutes at the end of the day to lie together with no screens, no expectations - just breath and skin and stillness.

Massage and mutual care

Giving and receiving massage is one of the most generous forms of non-sexual intimacy. It’s a way of showing care - of offering your presence, not just your hands. When done with intention, it can build trust, ease tension, and help bring you back into your bodies.

Whether it’s a shoulder rub while dinner’s cooking, or a more dedicated massage ritual using your favourite oil like LBDO’s Mood massage and body oil or Melt massage candle, the key is presence. Slowing down. Letting your hands listen.

To turn it into a simple ritual, you might light a candle, take a few breaths and set the tone with soft music. Even five minutes can make a difference.

Mindful cuddling

Cuddling can be a quiet reset. Not the kind that happens passively while watching Netflix, but the kind you choose intentionally.

Try spooning in silence for a few minutes. Tune in to the rhythm of each other’s breathing. Let the stillness be a form of connection. You might find yourselves talking… or you might not. Either way, you’re communicating something that words can’t always reach.

Emotional intimacy through conversation

Sometimes the most erotic thing is being truly seen. And that kind of seeing doesn’t come from physical touch - it comes from asking real questions, from being curious, from listening without fixing.

This is exactly why Journey Deeper: Intimacy Edition by LBDO was created - a curated tool designed to help you and your partner spark meaningful conversations. Whether you’ve been together for three months or ten years, these prompts are an invitation to slow down, get vulnerable, and learn something new about each other.

Try choosing one or two cards before bed, or set aside time each week to explore a few together. You might be surprised by how quickly that closeness deepens - even without touch.

Shared rituals and daily moments

Sometimes, intimacy lives in the quiet rituals of everyday life. Making each other coffee in the morning. Going for a walk and holding hands. Cooking dinner together while music plays.

These small acts build a foundation of trust and care. Over time, they become the threads that hold a relationship together - tiny, everyday moments that remind you you're in it together.

Intimacy doesn’t have to look one way

It doesn’t have to lead somewhere. It doesn’t need to be performative or loud. It can be soft, slow, subtle - and just as meaningful.

Whether you’re exploring touch, building trust through conversation, or lying in silence, these forms of intimacy offer a way to stay connected - especially in moments when sex isn’t on the table.

Because connection isn’t always about arousal. Sometimes, it’s just about being present.