When you’re about to become a mum in the age of social media, you see a lot about ‘the village’. In the Reels and Reddit threads, they aren’t referring to a cute collection of small houses and buildings where everyone lives and works and plays (though that would probably help). This kind of village is your supportive network. The family, friends, neighbours, or community members who assist in raising your children and supporting you, the parent. Roles, that, back when the world was smaller, would be filled by people in your village.
There are TikToks and carousels about needing one, not having one, being grateful for one and before I became a mum, I wondered what my village would actually look like. My parents don’t exactly live around the corner and my friends who already had kids didn’t live close either. I worried about not gelling with my mother’s group and potentially spending maternity leave mostly alone. As a news reporter, I’m used to chatting to strangers - but I wasn’t sure how I’d go as a new mum. So I made the conscious decision to be open to new people and connections. And I’m so glad I did - because a lot of my village emerged from very unexpected places.
My street
I’d never really noticed how many other families lived on my street until after I had a baby. But clearly - other parents noticed me. Just a few weeks into motherhood I found a bag of freshly laundered, second hand onesies on our doorstep. And then another. And another. The clothing drop offs - from an empathetic mum with two children slightly older than mine - slowly turned into conversations on the street - and then play dates at each other’s houses. Having another mum that I trust just a few doors away - whether that’s for advice about a sudden rash or to watch my baby for ten minutes while I do daycare drop off - has been so valuable.
The park
A chance encounter at a local playground actually led to me meeting one of the most important people in my village - my mental health practitioner. When my toddler befriended another little girl at the park, her mum and I naturally started talking. At the time I thought it was just a cute moment - but when we bumped into the same mum and daughter at the pub a few weeks later, we started talking about what we did for work. It turns out this cool, friendly mum was a perinatal mental health nurse practitioner - a job I never knew actually existed. A year - and another baby later - I’m now seeing her to work through my postpartum rage and finding our sessions so helpful.
My old school friends
I’m not sure how many of us are still attending school reunions these days - but motherhood certainly has a way of bringing old peers back into your life. I was surprised to reconnect with a bunch of old classmates (whom I wasn’t particularly close with) after I had my first. Something as simple as a late night Facebook message checking in on breastfeeding or sleep was really touching - especially when it came from someone I hadn’t heard from in years. It’s been really special to find that common thread with people from my past, especially because we can skip past the introduction phase and get straight into the real talk.
My IVF clinic
I found one of the first members of my village in a place I’d never wanted to end up - an IVF clinic. It had always been one of my biggest fears that I would struggle with fertility - and for a long time I resisted getting help. Little did I know that the nurse that I first discussed IVF options with over the phone would also go on to be the same nurse who held my hand during my egg retrieval - and then over time become a close friend after she left the clinic. It’s been a truly unique experience to have a friend who has been by my side from pre-conception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum. She understands me like no one else and now that we’re both mums of two - I try my best to show up for her as much as she did for me.
My colleagues
I’ll be the first person to admit I used to think that the mums in my workplace got it easy. I’m a TV news journalist - so ‘getting it easy’ in my eyes was being able to dodge a late night live cross, opt out of the early shift, or work a three day week. Well - motherhood humbled me. And luckily - all those mums that I once thought were being given special treatment ended up welcoming me into the working mum club with open arms. On my first day back at work after maternity leave with my daughter, I ended up in court covering a horrific story involving the death of a child. As I tried to compose myself, my phone lit up with messages from the other mums in the newsroom - checking in and offering support. The backing I’ve received from my colleagues has truly made my return to the workplace so much smoother.
I think one of the best things about entering motherhood is realising you’ve just joined a huge community of women who are on the same path as you, or who have taken it before. Every mum’s journey is different, but it certainly makes me feel less alone knowing we all do share common ground. Whether it’s battling with broken sleep, dealing with toddler tantrums, or struggling with identity after becoming a parent, we can connect on the challenges we face. Not to mention the incredible parts of parenthood that you just don’t truly "get" until you’ve experienced them yourself. Villages can look different for every mum: big, small, in-person, online, paid, unpaid. Here's to hoping you find yours.
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